


Overwhelmed

by icandrawamoth



Series: RP-inspired [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Anniversary, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 11:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marius takes Jehan out to a fancy restaurant for their anniversary, and things quickly go downhill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overwhelmed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [msieurmariuspontmercy on Tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=msieurmariuspontmercy+on+Tumblr).



> Inspired by this post, characters swapped around, obviously: http://bunbunjolras.tumblr.com/post/73611451233  
> (tws: homophobia, social anxiety, anxiety attack)

Luckily, it falls on a Friday. As soon as they get off the bus, Marius grabs Jehan’s backpack and sets it with his own in the corner. “Homework is waiting for today,” he announces. “Go and get dressed.”

Jehan raises an eyebrow. “I am dressed.”

“Go, go and put on something nice. Not that you don’t already look nice, of course,” Marius insists, shooing him toward his room. “I have a surprise for you.”

Jehan half-smiles, already having an idea of what it is, and goes. Quickly, he exchanges his comfy jeans and t-shirt for a nicer pair of pants and a button-up shirt. When he returns to the living room, Marius meets him, dressed similarly and grinning ear to ear. “Are you ready?”

Jehan can’t help but catch his enthusiasm, grinning himself. “Yes. Now tell me what’s going on?”

“Nope,” Marius says, taking his hand with a squeeze and leading him back out the door. “Like I said, it’s a surprise.”

Jehan follows, feeling just a tiny bit nervous, but pushing it aside. He knows what day it is, and Marius has planned something nice for him to celebrate, because he’s a sweet and perfect boyfriend. He has nothing to be anxious about.

They get in the car and head into town, Marius looking over at Jehan now and then with the same excited smile on his face. Jehan blushes. He knows Marius is worried about his reaction, but he doesn’t need to be. Wherever they’re going, Jehan knows he will love it because Marius has planned it for them.

After a few minutes, they pull into a parking lot, and Jehan gasps softly. It’s the fanciest restaurant in town. “You can’t afford this,” he protests, turning to Marius. “I appreciate–”

“I can,” Marius insists, that smile still on his face. “I knew you were going to say that. But I’ve been saving, and I want to treat you. I want to, Jehan. It’s our first anniversary, and I know it’s the anniversary of other things that aren’t good for you, too, so I want to make it special, okay? I love you, and I want to do this.”

Jehan’s lip trembles as emotion crashes through him. He leans forward to slide a hand into Marius’s hair and pull him in for a gentle kiss. “You are so perfect,” he murmurs. “Thank you.”

When they pull apart, Marius is blushing, too. He makes a shooing motion with his hands. “You don’t have to thank me. Let’s go in.”

Smile back in place, Jehan gets out of the car, taking Marius’s offered hand, and they enter the building together. He’s rarely been into a fine restaurant before, and this one is certainly impressive. Thick oriental carpet covers the floor, the tables sturdy and made of dark wood, lush upholstery on the chairs. Crystal goblets and gold napkin rings glint from the tables, and a giant chandelier hangs in the middle of the room. The place is crowded with people, the hum of conversation and tinkling of silverware on plates ringing on the air.

Jehan glances back at Marius, and from the look on his face, he can tell his boyfriend is pleased with is reaction. He smiles back as they reach the host’s podium. “Reservation for two, under Pontmercy, please,” Marius says. The host scans through his book and nods. He looks up at them, raising an eyebrow when he sees the two boys hand in hand.

Jehan goes red, and Marius looks about to protest, but Jehan squeezes his hand, silently begging him not to make a scene. Thankfully, the host leads them to their table and gives them their menus without comment, stiffly polite.

As they walk, Jehan can see other people around the restaurant looking at them, and his face heats further. He’s sure he will trip or something and embarrass himself. He doesn’t, though, and when the host leaves them at the table, Marius glares after him all the way back to the podium.

“What a jerk,” he bites out. “It’s the twenty-first century. Two boys are allowed to go out on date and not get dirty looks.”

Jehan nods silently, sinking down in his seat. He is acutely aware of other eyes still on them, and it’s making the back of his neck itch.

Marius looks back at him and notices. “Hey, are you okay?” He reaches out, and Jehan shies away. Marius pulls his hand back with a frown.

“I’m sorry,” Jehan says, wishing the stupid flush on his face would just go away. “I–”

“He made you uncomfortable. _I’m_ sorry, that’s – that’s not okay. Do you want to leave? We can go somewhere else, somewhere the staff is actually living in this decade.” He shoots another glare at the host, who is not paying them any attention now.

“No, it’s okay.” Jehan takes a deep breath and reaches out, tentatively settling his hand atop his boyfriend’s. He forces a tiny smile. “You got reservations and everything, and I want to enjoy this. Let’s order some food?”

Marius gives him a long look but nods hesitantly. “Okay.”

“Okay.” The smile is a little more genuine this time as he picks up the menu with one hand, not moving the other from Marius’s. He scans down the list of food, refraining from protesting at how expensive everything is. It makes him feel guilty, but on the other hand it touches him, Marius doing this for him. He doesn’t want to do anything more to tarnish it.

Marius glances up from his own menu. “What looks good?” he asks.

“Everything,” Jehan answers with another little smile. “I don’t know what to choose.”

“Whatever you want, love,” Marius says.

Jehan continues to study the menu, but that itch, the one he gets when he feels like someone is looking at him or like there are too many people in the room, hasn’t gone away. Anxiety roils in his stomach.

Marius is frowning at him. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

Jehan bites his lip. He doesn’t want to ruin the evening, but he doesn’t want to lie to Marius either. Finally, cheeks flaming and gut clenching, he breathes softly, “I just feel really anxious.”

Concern etches itself over Marius, his eyes going soft with care. He sets down his menu and reaches out slowly, gently, to take Jehan’s hand between both of his. “Talk to me?” he asks softly.

Jehan squeezes his eyes closed for a moment, taking a deep breath to try and steady himself, but he still feels shaky. “It’s just, there’s a lot of people here, and–” He opens his eyes to meet his boyfriend’s gaze and is mortified to feel tears pricking. “And after that…”

“Do you want to leave?” The worst part is that Marius doesn’t even looked angry, only worried. He squeezes Jehan’s hand gently. “I’m sorry this is making you uncomfortable. It’s totally fine. We can leave. We can go somewhere else, or just home.”

Jehan bites the inside of his cheek. He can feel his hands started to shake, and he knows Marius can feel it too. There’s nothing to worry about, he _knows_ that, what does it even matter if people are looking at him? And that’s why he hates this. His body freaks out without his mind being able to calm it down, and he just–

“Hey, hey, Jehan, shh, you’re okay,” Marius says, and his hands leave his to so so carefully cup his face. “Breathe, okay? It’s fine, don’t worry. We’ll go.”

“Please,” Jehan whimpers, and his face is so hot now. He must be completely red, and if people weren’t actually staring before, they certainly are now that he’s making a scene. “I need to get out of here, I’m sorry.”

“Shh, don’t be. Come on, let’s go.” Marius stands, pulling Jehan up beside him, and wraps an arm around him. Jehan curls into him as they head for the door, unable to even look back at the gawkers that surely fill the room. He knows already that he’ll never be able to come back here.

It seems like an eternity before they reach the door. Jehan dimly hears Marius saying something to the host though he can’t concentrate enough to make out the words, then they’re in the parking lot. They stop next to the car and Jehan leans heavily against it.

In a moment, Marius’s hands are on him again, gently guiding him forward until their foreheads are resting together, taking one of Jehan’s hands and pressing it to Marius’s own chest. “Breathe, _cher_ ,” he murmurs. “Breathe with me, try to calm down, you’re all right. It’s all right.”

Tears are flowing freely down Jehan’s face, his entire being shaking, but he tries to do as Marius says, concentrating on his voice and the feeling of where his boyfriend’s skin touches his, forehead and hands warm and caring against him. He takes a trembling breath.

“That’s it. Come on, I know you can do it. In and out.” Marius squeezes his hand, taking exaggerated breaths himself, letting Jehan feel as his chest expands and contracts.

Jehan takes a few more shaky, too-quick breaths before his body seems to catch on, slowly calming to match Marius’s movements. His tears trickle away as he slowly, slowly relaxes against him. When he is mostly calm again, Marius gently folds him into his arms. Jehan goes willingly, burying his face in his shoulder and shivering slightly against him.

“I’m so sorry,” Marius whispers in his ear, sounding terribly guilty. “I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry I made you feel this way when today should have been so happy.”

Jehan shakes his head but doesn’t move an inch away. “It’s not your fault. It’s stupid. I–”

“It’s not stupid,” Marius interrupts him softly. “None of your feelings are stupid, Jehan. You can’t help it.”

“No.” A tiny smile finds it’s way onto Jehan’s lips, still pressed against Marius’s shoulder. He is so grateful for Marius in that moment, that he understands. He loves him so much.

Marius lets him stand there for as long as he needs to, and he needs a while. When he finally feels like he can stand on his own again, he does, looking up at him, face still wet with tearstreaks. “Can we go home now?” he asks softly.

Marius reaches out to gently thumb the wetness away. “Of course, my love.”

He unlocks the doors, and Jehan goes around the other side to get in. The drive home is quiet, Jehan still sniffling a little as he comes down from the anxiety. Marius reaches over to hold his hand most of the way, which helps more than he can say.

They arrive home, and Jehan is glad his boyfriend’s parents have gone away for the weekend so he doesn’t have to deal with their kind concern too. He goes inside and sits down on the couch, absently picking at a loose thread on his jeans to try and distract himself. Guilt still gnaws at him for wrecking Marius’s well-intentioned plans, and as his boyfriend sits down next to him, he murmurs, “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry for ruining everything. It was so nice of you, and I really appreciate it, and I’m really, really sorry.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart,” Marius insists, pulling Jehan into his arms. He goes willingly, still a little unsteady, burying his face in his boyfriend’s chest. “We can celebrate our anniversary just as well here with a bowl of popcorn and a Disney princess marathon.”

Jehan actually cracks at tiny smile at that. “You are so good to me. I love you so much,” he murmurs, nuzzling against him. “Can we start with Tangled?”

“I love you, too, more than anything,” Marius says, a smile in his voice as he runs gentle fingers through Jehan’s hair. “Of course we can. But you’re going to have to let me up so I can go put it in.”

Jehan makes a negative sound, pressing himself against him for another long moment as if he soak him in to hold while he’s gone before pulling away. “Come back quick.”

“You know I will.”


End file.
